Grandma is a fucking liar.

First of all, why is there such a thing as laxative chocolate? What kind of evil human being would invent that?! Everybody knows that once you start eating a chocolate bar you don’t stop until it is gone. It doesn’t matter if it is laced with laxatives.

Author Abby Jimenez recently shared the story of how she thought her husband was dying because he managed to unintentionally take twelve doses of laxatives.

The laxatives the couple had at home came in the form of a chocolate bar, with the instructions to eat one to two squares. However, like all real men, her husband did not read any stupid instructions and ate the whole thing. 

Abby wrote: “So last night my husband took some Ex-lax. Then this morning, some shit started going down. Like, literaly. So I’m calling Poison Control because he thought he was dying and I literally cannot stop laughing. I’m barely able to talk, I’m laughing so hard. ‘The guy on the other end probably thought it was a prank call. I swear to God, I hope they record their calls and enjoy that one at the staff meeting later because even thinking about me trying to explain that my 39 year old husband just ate a whole brick of Ex-lax is making me wheeze. ‘The guy was like, “The biggest risks are cramping, dehydration, and diaper rash”.”

That must have been a fun experience.

 

 

I really need these. I’m not even joking.

Christian Poincheval from France claims to have invented a pill which can transform the smell of your farts. 

He came up with the idea for the pills, called PilulePet, following a horrific smelling dinner party during which his guests couldn’t stand the foul stench emanating from his ass.

He said: “We were at a table with friends after a copious meal when we nearly asphyxiated ourselves with our smelly farts. That gas wasn’t great for our table neighbours, so something had to be done about this.”

He started his company, Lutin Malin (Cunning Imp) and began developing the pills in 2007. He now has a range of  several different scents on offer.

He claimed the pills are entirely natural, just a “dietary supplement based on natural ingredients”.

According to the website, “the fart pill is the result of lengthy research and trials and is on sale since 2007. Our fragrant variants also add a touch of humour for any occasion. Our numerous returning customers are no doubt the best proof.

The pills, which come in scents such as Christmas chocolate, May Day lily, St Valentine’s ginger, violet and rose, sell for roughly 19,90 Euros per bottle.

 

Every order is a surprise in this restaurant.

Dementia affects 47.5 million people with 9.9 million new cases each year worldwide. A pop-up restaurant in Tokyo was open for three days in an attempt to change the public’s perception of those suffering from dementia and Alzheimer’s. The Restaurant of Order Mistakes was staffed by sufferers of these disorders.

A few weeks ago six waitresses took orders and served food to customers in the short-lived restaurant. Each waitress suffers either from dementia or Alzheimer’s. One waitress, who used to work in a school, decided to participate since she was used to cooking for children and thought she could do it. 

Mizuho Kudo, a customer during the event, tweeted that while she ordered a hamburger, gyoza dumplings came out of the kitchen instead. But, she added that it was all fun and smiles and that she enjoyed the meal nonetheless. The concept was developed by executives from television, advertising, and the restaurant industry. It was a non-profit undertaking and the cooking was done by professionals, to show that people with dementia or Alzheimer’s are still capable of more than we think.

Finally! I have been witnessing this disgusting sexual abuse of hair dryers in my gym for years and was longing for the day someone does something about it.

A swimming pool in Iceland took to action after a local swimmer Haraldur Jónasson wrote a letter of complaint that was published in a local newspaper. 

Titled “This is not a ball sack dryer” it read: “Don‘t dry your ball sack or your butt with the communal hairdryer in the swimming pool or the gym. Bald older gentlemen with hairy torsos must either bring their own blow-dryers or just buy a more absorbent towel.” 

This phenomenon is, of course, not just a problem in Iceland. A quick google search will bring you to a Reddit thread asking “old men who blow dry your balls in gym locker rooms, why do you do it?”. It has hundreds of responses, but the most common excuses given are avoiding “dampness,” “stickiness” and “friction” caused by a towel.

Just get a better towel, you horrible sex offenders!