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So many sexes. A Paris zoo has unveiled a mysterious new organism, named the “blob”, a yellowish unicellular living being which looks like a fungus but acts like an animal.

This newest exhibit of the Paris Zoological Park has no mouth, no stomach, no eyes, but has almost 720 sexes, can move without legs or wings and heals itself in two minutes if cut in half.

“The blob is a living being which belongs to one of nature’s mysteries”, said Bruno David, director of the Paris Museum of Natural History, of which the Zoological Park is part.

“It surprises us because it has no brain but is able to learn and if you merge two blobs, the one that has learned will transmit its knowledge to the other,” David added.

The blob was named after a 1958 science-fiction horror B-movie, in which an alien life form consumes everything that stands in it’s way in a small US town.

In Paris yesterday, the wrong national anthem was played for Albania before it faced France in the European Championship qualifier.

Players looked bemused as they realized it was the wrong anthem – Andorra’s, according to UEFA’s website – with camera images showing angry Albanian fans making offensive gestures in protest at the error.

France coach Didier Deschamps spoke with Albania coach Edoardo Reja as they waited several minutes for the right anthem to be played at Stade de France before starting the game. The game ended up being 10 minutes late.

When the correct anthem was finally about to be played there was another awkward incident. The stadium announcer apologized to “Armenia’s fans” and called on fans to respect the “Armenia national anthem” before realizing his stupid mistake and saying Albania.

I really need these. I’m not even joking.

Christian Poincheval from France claims to have invented a pill which can transform the smell of your farts. 

He came up with the idea for the pills, called PilulePet, following a horrific smelling dinner party during which his guests couldn’t stand the foul stench emanating from his ass.

He said: “We were at a table with friends after a copious meal when we nearly asphyxiated ourselves with our smelly farts. That gas wasn’t great for our table neighbours, so something had to be done about this.”

He started his company, Lutin Malin (Cunning Imp) and began developing the pills in 2007. He now has a range of  several different scents on offer.

He claimed the pills are entirely natural, just a “dietary supplement based on natural ingredients”.

According to the website, “the fart pill is the result of lengthy research and trials and is on sale since 2007. Our fragrant variants also add a touch of humour for any occasion. Our numerous returning customers are no doubt the best proof.

The pills, which come in scents such as Christmas chocolate, May Day lily, St Valentine’s ginger, violet and rose, sell for roughly 19,90 Euros per bottle.

 

Jeanne Calment died in August 1997, in Arles, France. Her age was reported as 122 years and 164 days, which is a record, according to Guinness World Records.

A team of Russian researchers have recently uncovered evidence that suggests that she is 23 years younger and actually the daughter of Jeanne Calment, Yvonne Calment. The study suggests that Yvonne assumed her mother’s identity after her death in 1934 in order to not have to pay the inheritance tax.

Gerontologist Valery Novoselov said he called for the investigation because Jeanne didn’t fit typical data trends. “Jeanne is a dot away from the main trend,” Novoselov told the Life Extension Advocacy Foundation, a nonprofit dedicated to extending the human lifespan. “… Whenever a new record is set, the person dies several days or several weeks later, very rarely several months later. However, we are never speaking about years apart, definitely not several years.”

Jeanne´s daughter officially died in 1934, but Novoselov believes it was Jeanne who died. “We think that in reality, it was Jeanne who had died, aged almost 59, and her daughter took her name and personality,” he said. Novoselov believes money was the reason for such an elaborate fraud. “The 1930s were dire years for the family. Her mother-in-law and her father both died in 1931, and the family had to pay huge inheritance taxes in each case,” Novoselov said. “… If Jeanne had died, her daughter Yvonne and her husband would have to pay a lot of money. However, if it were Yvonne who died, the family wouldn’t have to pay any taxes, as she didn’t own the homestead.”

I´m sure the Guinness Book of World Records can quickly fix this by correct her entry from world´s oldest person to world´s oldest tax evader.