A new craze is supposedly taking Hollywood by storm and it involves newborn baby foreskins, because why the fuck not?

Blanchett told Australian Vogue “Sandy Bullock and I saw this facialist in New York, Georgia Louise, and she gives what we call the penis facial and it’s something – I don’t know what it is, or whether it’s just cause it smells a bit like sperm – there’s some enzyme in it so Sandy refers to it as the penis facial.”

The penis facial, not to be confused with the classic penis facial seen in all porn movies, contains the EGF serum. EGF is derived from the progenitor cells of the human fibroblast taken from Korean newborn baby foreskin, which Louise says helps to generate collagen and elastin. The foreskin is collected during circumcision and the stem cells are then harvested and extracted through a centrifuge.

Other cosmetic products that are becoming increasingly popular in Hollywood are the pig sphincter bunion slave and the sacrifice of Philipino virgins to Satan. The latter gives you perfectly smooth skin until the day you die.

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