So many sexes. A Paris zoo has unveiled a mysterious new organism, named the “blob”, a yellowish unicellular living being which looks like a fungus but acts like an animal.

This newest exhibit of the Paris Zoological Park has no mouth, no stomach, no eyes, but has almost 720 sexes, can move without legs or wings and heals itself in two minutes if cut in half.

“The blob is a living being which belongs to one of nature’s mysteries”, said Bruno David, director of the Paris Museum of Natural History, of which the Zoological Park is part.

“It surprises us because it has no brain but is able to learn and if you merge two blobs, the one that has learned will transmit its knowledge to the other,” David added.

The blob was named after a 1958 science-fiction horror B-movie, in which an alien life form consumes everything that stands in it’s way in a small US town.

According to this video made by the BBC, sea cucumbers are so disguisting that no predator wants to touch them. When the cunning pearlfish realized that, they decided to hide inside of their buttholes. What a revolutionary idea! It changes my whole outlook on butts.

The sea cucumber is a “walking colon” – an animal that sucks in sand along the ocean floor, then squirts waste out the back end. To the pearlfish, that back end is attractive. In search of a good home, it finds a sea cucumber butt and slides right in. It is such a comfortable house that it invites her pearlfish family and friends to joint it. Everyone is welcome. 

Next time the police wants to arrest me for riding a bike without a light and illegal posession of a raccoon, I’ll go to the zoo and hide inside an elephant’s butt. Even if they read this, I’m pretty sure they won’t try looking for me there.

 

You can find out why the lady does not want pomegranates here.

According to China Times, a woman from Hong Kong, after experiencing constipation, had gone to the toilet to relieve herself and when she came out, her family members found that she suffered from amnesia. They discovered that she had forgotten everything that happened over the past 10 years.

Eight hours passed before she was back to normal. The worried family sent her to the hospital, thinking that there was something wrong with her brain but when doctors checked on her, they found her brain to be functioning normally.

She also did not remember her temporary amnesia at all and the source of the memory loss seemed to be a mystery until a neurosurgeon explained that it was caused by her constipation problems. He explained that this amnesia was reportedly due to the excessive force she exerted when she wanted to relieve herself during constipation.

This excessive force led to an increase in abdominal and intra-cerebral pressure which caused a lack of oxygen flow to her brain, resulting in a short-term memory loss. The doctor also said that people who are highly emotional or frequently carry heavy objects have a higher risk of suffering from temporary amnesia. He advises those who experience a similar situation to always go for a check-up. He added that these people are 30% more likely to experience a stroke compared to an average person so it’s important to ensure that they are healthy.

The doctor continued to explain that if she had pushed even harder, she would have turned herself inside out and would have been consumed by her own anus and ceased to exist. All that would be left of her is a tiny anus. I guess she dodged a bullet there.

New research by Gordon Muir, a urologist at King’s College Hospital in London, finds that procedures to make penises larger do not work, are “ineffective and risky” and leave many men physically or psychologically scarred, with an expert saying they should almost never be carried out and that men were being exploited by “charlatans”.

There is “scant” evidence that the range of procedures men undergo in an attempt to enlarge their penis actually produce that result, according to a review by British experts.

“These procedures should almost never be done,” said Muir. “They can cost up to £30,000 or even £40,000, often the man ends up with a penis that is disfigured and there is no more than 20% satisfaction rates with these procedures.”

But not all hope is lost. You can always try those penis enlargement pills they advertise on porn sites. Those definitely work 100%. If you have money, you can also do what many men do and just compensate with a massive douchy car and excessive muscles.

It does! It does!