Five Chinese hitmen have been jailed for the same attempted murder, after each one of them avoided carrying out the crime themselves and hired another one so they could make a profit.

Tan Youhui, a Chinese businessman, was looking to take out a competitor, Wei Mou. Hehired a hitman to do the job and offered to pay him around 280,000 US dollars.

The hitman who was originally hired decided to offer the deal to another hitman, for half the price. The second hitman subcontacted a third hitman who then hired a fourth who passed the job on to a fifth. The fifth hitman was so upset by how much the payment had dropped by the time it got to him that he told the target to fake his own death.

This led to police finding out the plot, according to Beijing News. After a three year trial both the businessman and the five hitmen were jailed and convicted of attempted murder.

Tan Youhui, who hired the original hitman, was jailed for five years. The first hitman was sentenced to three years and six months in jail. The second and third hitman received a jail sentence of three years and three months, while the fourth hitman received a three-year sentence and the fifth one was jailed for two years and seven months.

Thanks a lot grandma. Instead of just losing, now I will be known for this.

What a jerk.

According to China Times, a woman from Hong Kong, after experiencing constipation, had gone to the toilet to relieve herself and when she came out, her family members found that she suffered from amnesia. They discovered that she had forgotten everything that happened over the past 10 years.

Eight hours passed before she was back to normal. The worried family sent her to the hospital, thinking that there was something wrong with her brain but when doctors checked on her, they found her brain to be functioning normally.

She also did not remember her temporary amnesia at all and the source of the memory loss seemed to be a mystery until a neurosurgeon explained that it was caused by her constipation problems. He explained that this amnesia was reportedly due to the excessive force she exerted when she wanted to relieve herself during constipation.

This excessive force led to an increase in abdominal and intra-cerebral pressure which caused a lack of oxygen flow to her brain, resulting in a short-term memory loss. The doctor also said that people who are highly emotional or frequently carry heavy objects have a higher risk of suffering from temporary amnesia. He advises those who experience a similar situation to always go for a check-up. He added that these people are 30% more likely to experience a stroke compared to an average person so it’s important to ensure that they are healthy.

The doctor continued to explain that if she had pushed even harder, she would have turned herself inside out and would have been consumed by her own anus and ceased to exist. All that would be left of her is a tiny anus. I guess she dodged a bullet there.

Every man runs the risk of a publich unwanted boner when he goes to the beach. Most of us can control it, but there are many whose beach excursions will be become much more relaxing with this new invention.

The adult entertainment website Pornhub has launched a limited edition “Bonerless Bathing Suit,” equipped with a special lining to help conceal protruding body parts.

They come complete with special built-in lining made from 100 per cent Lycra, which is designed to “hold down” your member, without “strangling” it or making it uncomfortable.

“We worked hard on the development of this first-of-its-kind bathing suit that should help ease comfort and increase enjoyment for the most masterful of bathers and waterspouts amateurs alike,” Pornhub Vice President Corey Price told Men’s Health.

If you’re interested in buying this piece of beachwear, they will cost you $US69.69, although I think that walking around with pornhub swim trunks is way worse than walking around with a boner.

A man from Pinellas County, Florida, denied ownership when jail officials found syringes in his rectum during an early morning strip search.

Wesley Scott, 40, was arrested Friday in Pinellas County on an outstanding warrant charging him with drug possession, reports The Smoking Gun.

When Scott was searched at the jail, he “removed three syringes from his rectum and provided them” to a jailer. Scott then claimed that he “found” the syringes and that “they were not his.”, although he did not explain how they wound up in his buttocks.

Scott was charged with introducing contraband into a correctional facility and held on $5,000 bond.

Never give up little doggy!