Name a salmon after your ex then watch it get eaten by bears on Valentine’s day

Valentine’s day is a day for love, romance, but also crushing loneliness and petty revenge. An animal rehabilitation centre in Oregon knows that very well and has decided to channel those feelings to raise money and feed some bears.

The announcement on the centre’s Facebook page reads: “Did you fall hook, line, and sinker for someone who broke your heart? Kodi & Yak would love to help you get your revenge! In exchange for a $20 donation, your ex’s name will be on a salmon and served up for dinner.” The dinner will be served on Valentine’s day and photos of the carnage will be sent to you.

If you are not that into fish, you can also name a cockroach or a venomous snake after your ex. The Bronx Zoo’s “Name a roach” program is back again by popular demand. They advertise it as “A timeless gift. After the chocolates have been eaten and the flowers wilt, roaches remain thriving and triumphant. Give the gift that’s eternal and Name a Roach for Valentine’s Day.” The Sydney Zoo lets you name venomous brown snakes after your ex.