A Tennessee police department is asking residents not to flush drugs down the toilet because of fears that wildlife might consume them and exhibit unnatural behaviors.

“Ducks, Geese, and other fowl frequent our treatment ponds and we shudder to think what one all hyped up on meth would do,” the Loretto Police Department posted Saturday on Facebook. “Furthermore, if it made it far enough we could create meth-gators in Shoal Creek and the Tennessee River down in North Alabama.”

I don’t even want to try to imagine what an Alabama meth-gator might do. That is scary stuff.

It took only seconds for social media comments to start appearing. My favorite is a tweet which said that “This should be the new mascot for a university down there. Think of how terrifying it would be to play the South Alabama Meth Gators.” 

The police department did not mention any cases of a meth-gator causing havoc, but last month police in Alabama arrested a man who allegedly fed meth to a pet squirrel named Deeznutz and trained it to attack people, and a jungle python in Australia reportedly required six weeks of detoxification after absorbing meth through its skin in a lab. The python behaved more aggressively and erratically.

During a police raid in Limestone County, Alabama investigators found a squirrel, supposedly on meth, which was trained to attack visitors.

Investigators were looking for 35-year-old Mickey Paulk who has warrants out for possession of a firearm, possession of a controlled substance and possession of paraphernalia.

Deputies told a local news station that Paulk says he held the squirrel captive and used it as an attack squirrel. They also say he was feeding it meth to keep it aggressive.

“It’s kind of incredulous when you first see it, you know. Somebody’s supposedly got a squirrel that’s an attack squirrel, and supposedly he’s feeding it meth to keep it aggressive. That’s something in 18 years of law enforcement I’ve never seen,” Limestone County public information officer Stephen Young described.

Considering a squirrel needs far less meth than a grown adult in order to stay vigilant, it is certainly more cost-effective than other home security options.  I might train my budgie to do the same. Tweety is about to discover the magic of methamphetamines.