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Things I really need: Scented flatulence pills which make farts smell like roses

I really need these. I’m not even joking.

Christian Poincheval from France claims to have invented a pill which can transform the smell of your farts. 

He came up with the idea for the pills, called PilulePet, following a horrific smelling dinner party during which his guests couldn’t stand the foul stench emanating from his ass.

He said: “We were at a table with friends after a copious meal when we nearly asphyxiated ourselves with our smelly farts. That gas wasn’t great for our table neighbours, so something had to be done about this.”

He started his company, Lutin Malin (Cunning Imp) and began developing the pills in 2007. He now has a range of  several different scents on offer.

He claimed the pills are entirely natural, just a “dietary supplement based on natural ingredients”.

According to the website, “the fart pill is the result of lengthy research and trials and is on sale since 2007. Our fragrant variants also add a touch of humour for any occasion. Our numerous returning customers are no doubt the best proof.

The pills, which come in scents such as Christmas chocolate, May Day lily, St Valentine’s ginger, violet and rose, sell for roughly 19,90 Euros per bottle.

 

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The Farting Preacher – Part 1

The word of God cometh out of his ass and into your nostrils.

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Why holding farts in could result in them coming out of your mouth

According to Professor Clare Collins, a nutrition and dietetics expert at the University of Newcastle, holding in built-up gas may cause abdominal distension, “with some gas reabsorbed into the circulation and exhaled in your breath”.

In a text for The Conversation, she also warned that holding it in is actually futile: “Holding on too long means the build-up of intestinal gas will eventually escape via an uncontrollable fart.” You could also end up with a condition called diverticulitis, which is when small pouches develop in the gut lining and become inflamed, but she did point out that more research into this was needed.

Next time you feel the urge to fart in a full elevator just let it rip, however socially unacceptable it is. You don´t want small inflamed pouches in your gut lining, do you? What you definitely don`t want is farts coming out of your mouth. That would destroy your social life. In fact, I feel that this is a very serious issue that needs be addressed so I am starting a social awareness campaign in order to remove the stigma farting has. #fartsaregood #mouthfartsarebad

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Fart interrupts snooker match

That`s Mike! Mike from IT. I can recognizes those farts from a mile away.

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Finland has really got talent

They have some amazing hand farters.

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Security Guy Documents Six Months of Farts

This man is a true artist. Rumor has it that he got fired because of his art. He is also a true hero of modern art. According to AVClub he plans to further delve into this topic: “We’re going to keep making content. We can do Paul Flart on vacation, you know, throw in like a Hawaiian shirt and a hat of some sort and then just fart around Florida. We’re just going to keep going.”

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