1.Dead Mice

The Egyptians applied dead mice paste in their mouth to ease toothache. It is a shame there is no recipe left because, aside from ridding you from toothache, it also sounds delicious. If you had a wart in Elizabethan England, you would cut a mouse in half and apply it to the spot.

2.Sheep liver diagnosis

Just as many contemporary geniuses, the ancient Mesopotamians have very early realized that scientific analysis and diagnosis are nonsense and diagnosed patients not by examining them, but by examining the liver of a sacrificed sheep. Makes sense, doesn’t it?

3.Cutting off the tounge

No, it was not used for curing unruly children who talked back to their parents, but to cure stuttering. Unfortunately, it did not work as well as sheep liver diagnosis and patients continued to stutter while some bled to death.

4.Pulling out the giant tooth worm living inside of you

The benefits of this treatment are pretty obvious.

5.Crocodile dung contraception

Again the ancient Egyptians with their creative solutions for everyday problems. They would insert dry crocodile dung into vaginas, thinking that it will soften when it reaches body temperature and create an impenetrable barrier. I guess pulling out was not an option.

6.Goat testicles

In the early 1900s, John Brinkley became one of the richest doctors in America, despite having no medical qualifications. He claimed he could cure impotence, infertility, and other sexual problems by surgically implanting goat testicles into a man’s scrotum. The surgery had no scientific merit and was extremely dangerous. Many patients died. I wonder if he replace them with goat testicles or did he just add more of them to the scrotum? Could you then have three testicles? I want to have seven. 

7.Farts in a jar

This historical medical treatment is my absolute favorite on th list. I always claimed that farts can heal the body and the soul. Doctors in the middle ages agreed with me and believed that bad smells have therapeutic effects. Some urged people to keep goats in the home. Others recommended flatulence stored in jars. Each time the deadly pestilence appeared in the neighborhood, people were to open the jars and take a whiff. 

8.The doctor telling you that extremely large testicles are not good for you while wearing a pot on his head

What else can he do?