At least she tried.

An Australina man has been charged 55,000 British pounds (68,0000 dollars) for a single beer in a hotel in Manchester, UK.

Peter Lalor, a cricket writer from Australia, was staying at a branch of Malmaison in Manchester ahead of the fourth Ashes Test match when he went for a drink at the hotel bar where he ordered a bottle of Deuchars IPA. When he came to pay, it became apparent that something was wrong.

Writing on Twitter, Mr Lalor said: “I didn’t have my reading glasses when she presented me with a bill for the beer and when she had some problems with the machine I didn’t think much of it, but it was eventually resolved, I said I didn’t want a receipt and she went to leave.”

“Something, however, made me ask: ‘How much did I just pay for that beer?’ She checked, covered her mouth, started to giggle and refused to tell me, saying only there had been a mistake and she would fix it. She kept giggling, I told her it needed to be fixed and fixed right now. She ran to get her manager who took the situation far more seriously and went about attempting to arrange a refund. She told me somebody would be in contact.”

Nobody got in touch with him and he was unaware exactly how much had been taken from the account until he received a call from home. “The sum of 99,983.64 (68,000 US dollars) had been removed from our account. And, there’d been a transaction fee of 2,499.59 (Australian dollars) to add to the pain.

The transaction fee has been refunded but he still hasn’t had a refund for the 68,000 dollar bottle of beer.


The world famous Cerne Abbas Giant in Dorset is 55 meters tall and will be refurbished by volunteers over the next weeks. It has been a famous landmark of the area since the 17th century and is in need of re-chalking and polishing to restore it. The giant’s 11 meter erect penis also needs to be polished. Lucky giant.

It was last done in 2008, but since then the weather has taken its toll and weeds have started the grow on this piece of (probably) 17th century art, destroying its previously chalky outline. Tonnes of the white stuff have been extracted from a nearby quarry and will be tightly packed in by hand to the existing 460 meter outline of the figure to ensure it remains visible from far away. 

 This is the place to be.

It is quite common in Britain to come home with clothes covered in curry stains after an all-night bender fueled by alcohol, but this bird took it a bit too far.

A bright orange bird was found alongside a highway near Buckinghamshire, U.K., on July 1. The very exotic-looking bird seemed not to be able to fly and was taken to Tiggywinkles Wildlife Hospital in nearby Aylesbury.

After examining the bird and giving it a bath, the veterinary workers quickly realized it is not an exotic bird, but a seagull covered in curry powder.

“We have no idea how he got into this predicament but thankfully, apart from the vibrant color and pungent smell, he was healthy,” Tiggywinkles Hospital wrote on their Facebook page.

“This bright-orange herring gull was rescued by kind members of the public who spotted him at the side of the A41. When they called to say they had picked up an orange bird, we had no idea what to expect – and would never have guessed at this. This is one of the strangest casualty circumstances we have seen in a while.”

The seagull was not injured and was only temporarily unable to fly. The vets gave him the name Vinny after vindaloo curry.

It seems that Alfred Hitchcock predicted the future in his iconic thriller The Birds. The only thing that he got wrong is the type of bird that will start the terror, choosing crows to star in his movie rather than the far more evil seagulls.

Evil nesting seagulls kept a couple hostage in their own home for six days by attacking them every time they tried to leave their house.

Roy and Brenda Pickard, from Knott End, England say they were constantly confronted by two noisy seagulls after they built a nest on their roof. There are two baby seagulls in the nest.

Mr. Pickard, 77, who ended up with a bloody head wound that needed hospital treatment after a particularly vicious attack said: “The whole thing has been terrible. I’ve not been able to go out of the front door. If I try to get out of the door, the two adult birds are right there and I’ve got no chance. It’s genuinely frightening.”

He added: “My wife isn’t well or very mobile at the moment so we’re relying on me to get out.

“Thankfully, we have an integrated garage and I can get into it from the kitchen, open the garage door and drive out to get our shopping, but I have to leave the garage door open, which isn’t ideal.”

Wyre Council say the gulls are Herring Gulls and are protected once nesting – which means the couple basically can’t get rid of them.

Hide your wife, dog and cat! Billions of evil “porn star” mutant fleas with huge penises are predicted to invade British homes within the next month.

“The population of fleas seems to have grown rapidly in recent years, but the risk of an infestation could be bigger than ever this summer.” a spokesman for pest controllers Basis Prompt said. 

A warm winter and spring followed by a mild and rainy summer have created perfect breeding conditions for the fleas – including mutant ‘porn star’ fleas – dubbed because their penis is two and a half times longer than their body.

The critters are currently in the midst of their breeding season with males rushing from female to female, with the female fleas giving birth at an incredible rate.