Things you might need: Penis cleaner

Remember that guy who never washed his penis in his life? If you are considering buying him a birthday present, this might be the right choice.

A new product has started to appear in supermarkets and on Amazon. It is called Boners Penis Cleaner and the name says it all.

According to some Amazon reviews, it is fantastic. One gave the product five stars, and added: “Amazing, penis looked magical afterwards and smelled like rainbows.” Another wrote: “After testing the three most used methods of penis cleansing, I have found that out of soap and water, green tea shampoo and Boners penis cleaner that this product would have had five stars if it was priced for sale in B&M or the local pound shop,” they wrote.

First of all, I have the feeling that washing your penis with a bit of soap and water and hanging a Little Tree car air freshener on it would give you the same magical effect. Second, what does a rainbow smell like?