President Donald Trump launched his 2020 presidential campaign at a rally in Orlando, Florida, Tuesday with a series of very bold promises to a full stadium of cheering supporters.
He told supporters: “We will push onward with new medical frontiers. We will come up with the cures to many, many problems, to many, many diseases — including cancer and others and we’re getting closer all the time. We will eradicate AIDS in America once and for all and we’re very close. We will lay the foundation for landing American astronauts on the surface of Mars.”
He also promised to build a wall on the Mexican border, stop the sun from shining in people’s eyes, make golf a mandatory school subject, legalize dad-daughter incest and make the Big Mac the official national dish of the United States of America. He has yet to elaborate on how exactly he wants to fulfill those promises.